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    • Media
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  • Services
    • Counselling
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      • Conscious dating coaching
      • Pre-living together coaching
      • Couples Retreat
      • Couple Check Up
      • What to Expect with Couples Counselling
      • Sex Coaching
      • Affairs - Prevention and Healing
      • Polyamory
        • Poly Resources
          • Poly FAQ
            • How to F**k up a Poly Relationship
            • Why I love Polyamory, but....
            • Polyamory Relationship Contract
    • Events
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      • Sex on the Brain
      • Bring Back the Zing
      • Conscious Dating
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  • RESOURCES
    • Quizzes
      • Relationship Quizes
        • Relationship Readiness
    • What is Emotional Freedom Technique?
    • Ending the Battle Between the Sexes
    • Why I love Polyamory, but....
    • Recommended Books
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    • Recommended Links
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  • Anger Management
  • EMOTION CODE

Anger Management 

PictureAnger Management - Staying Calm
Anger is a normal emotion which we all experience from time to time. Situations in life can at times be upsetting, stressful or frustrating, and anger is a common emotional reaction to these situations. But it is how you handle your anger that is important if you wish to lead a balanced and fulfilling life.
Uncontrolled anger can have a devastating impact on your life and the lives of those around you.

Uncontrolled anger can include:
  • feeling easily agitated in common situations
  • seeing red when you don’t get your way
  • picking fights
  • making hurtful remarks
  • feelings of aggression towards others
  • reacting violently to a situation (throwing items or punching someone)
  • furious emotions or outbursts
  • passive anger, such as engaging in sarcasm or giving someone the ‘silent treatment’ 
Angry feelings can be based on unfounded fears and anxieties, or they can be emotional reactions to a real sense of threat or dissatisfaction. No matter the trigger, when your anger threatens to overwhelm you or lead you to hurt yourself or others, or you find yourself feeling angry a lot of the time, or reacting strongly to trivial incidents, then you risk alienating your family, friends and colleagues and living a dissatisfied life.

Click here to contact us now for your 50% off introductory session
- confidentiality and non-judgement assured. 
- call 0414 810 148 or email us thru this site
​- you will talk directly to the Counsellor, not a secretary


WHAT CAUSES ANGER?  A variety of life’s circumstances can cause anger. Most commonly, they include:-
  • Stress, including financial stress, work-related stress or stress associated with family life
  • Recalling negative memories can trigger feelings of anger
  • Fear or danger (real or imagined) can provoke angry responses
  • Jealousy or resentment
  • Feeling out of control in a particular situation

WHAT IS ANGER? Mental Health Professionals generally understand anger to have three main components, as described below:
  1. Psychological Anger refers to your actual emotions or feelings of anger. These can range from mild feelings of dissatisfaction or annoyance through to passionate feelings of fury or rage.
  2. Biological Anger refers to the physiological reactions which the body experiences when a person is angry e.g. increased heart rate, and
  3. Cognitive Anger refers to the thoughts and beliefs that accompany your feelings of anger, e.g. thoughts which provide rationalizations for your angry feelings.
  4.  Anger is a feeling just like all other feelings.
  5. Anger tends to be an embodied feeling.
  6. Anger generally stems from an injury to the person or their needs.  Often anger gets aimed at people who it is easier to aim it at rather than the original target of the anger.
  7. Anger can be a signal that there is a problem for a person.
  8. Anger can be a habitual response to many feelings.  Our culture encourages men to be angry but discourages acceptance of fear and sadness.  This can result in men expressing all feelings through anger.
  9. Being angry is normal and healthy – it becomes a problem when other emotions can’t be experienced and accepted.
  10. It is a problem when people make other people responsible for their feelings. – It is important to understand that our feelings are more to do with our thoughts, beliefs and experiences than about other peoples behaviour. 

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY? Have you ever:
  • Slammed a door at home or at work when you are frustrated;
  • Screamed at your partner because they haven’t done the dishes;
  • Slapped your child when your child spills her drink;
  • Yelled at a store salesperson because of a long queue or slow service;
  • Started a fight at a pub
If you have displayed any of these or similar behaviours, it is worthwhile thinking about where these responses came from. In situations where anger is inappropriately displayed or disproportionately felt, the trigger for the anger is not always as obvious as it might first seem.
Take as an example a parent’s anger of a spilt drink. Is it the small mess which really infuriates the parent or are there perhaps underlying causes of the angry response? Perhaps the parent is suffering from high levels of stress, perhaps they have had a bad day at work, or the kids have been unsettled, perhaps they lack sleep and feel exhausted, perhaps they have a past in which they were abused, neglected or ridiculed, and they have never learned how to handle their emotions?
Often it is not the person, or the actual event you are facing which makes you feel angry, but rather it’s the way you think and feel, based on your past experiences, which create angry feelings and negative responses. If you can become aware of the triggers, and you can develop strategies for calming your response to those triggers, then you may go a long way to avoiding angry outbursts.

HOW TO MANAGE/HEAL ANGER – TIPS & TECHNIQUES
Mental Health Professionals consider that there are five main ways to handle anger. These are:
  1. controlling your anger – using assertive rather than aggressive behaviour, using a calm tone of voice, verbalizing your feelings.
  2. suppressing your anger – acknowledging the anger but converting it into constructive behaviour.
  3. calming strategies – calming your external behaviour and your internal reactions so that the angry feelings are diluted. Techniques used by psychologists include visualisation, counting to 10, meditation, breathing exercises and physical activity.
  4. changing Beliefs about how emotions should be expressed, or 'what it means to be a man' etc.
  5. healing underlying trauma and anxiety from childhood - using NLP, EFT, Hypnosis. MetaHealing and other healing modalities.

COUNSELLING FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT with an experienced mental health practitioner can assist you to:-
  • acknowledge and better understand your symptoms
  • learn techniques for controlling your angry responses (e.g. calming methods, assertive communication)
  • understand and heal the underlying causes of your angry responses


Click here to contact us now for your 50% off introductory session 
- confidentiality and non-judgement assured. 
- call 0414 810 148 or email us thru this site
​- you will talk directly to the Counsellor, not a secretary

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